Should I or Shouldn’t I Go to the Funeral?

By: Ian Elliott
Friday, November 13, 2015

Historically, formal invitations are not sent out for funeral or memorial services, which can make it hard to know if you should attend or not. Generally, as a rule, if you want to attend the funeral or memorial service, and the event is open to guests, then you can and should go.

Why should you attend a funeral or memorial service?

Attending a funeral or memorial service is a way of showing support for the family members of the deceased, and offers you a chance to grieve and remember the person who died. As a rule, if you feel like you'd like to, or should, attend the service, then it's acceptable to go. Even if you didn't know the person who died, but you have a relationship with a bereaved family member or close friend, then your presence at the service can help them feel supported and cared for. If you're uncomfortable going alone, it’s appropriate to bring a close friend or partner.

Why shouldn’t you attend a funeral or memorial service?

If you think that your presence at a memorial or funeral service would make the bereaved uncomfortable, then you shouldn't attend. There may also be logistical issues in getting to the event which may prevent you from going, or could make the effort to get there inappropriate for the relationship that you had with the deceased person or their family.

If you're unsure as to whether or not you should attend a funeral or memorial service, ask yourself how you will feel about it a year from now. Will you regret not going? Or do you think that when you look back you’ll regret having attended? Thinking ahead will give you insight into how to act in the moment.

What do you do if the funeral or memorial service is out of town?

If the funeral or memorial service is being held out of town or far from where you live, you need to ask yourself whether or not to attend based on the relationship with the deceased and their family members, as well as the difficulty of getting to the service.

If you're close to the person who died, or their family, but may struggle to attend for a variety of reasons including logistical, financial, or personal, it’s appropriate to get in touch with the family and write a letter or send a card expressing your condolences. Letting the grieving family know that you care and send them warm wishes despite not being able to be physically with them during their time of need is important, and will help them during their grieving process.

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

Is Live Streaming the Future of Funeral Services?

The global pandemic has forced many people to remain at home and avoid travel. While life has slowed down considerably, it hasn’t stopped. People still need to find a way to work, communicate with ...

How Can I Explain The Concept of Death to my Children?

Explaining serious and heavy topics like death to children isn’t easy. Most parents want to avoid it as much as possible. Unfortunately, death is a part of life and everyone must face it in some fo...

Choosing the Perfect Songs for the Funeral Service

Music can help set the emotional tone in a funeral, which is why it is important to choose the right one. At Arbutus Funeral Service, we encourage people to consider the music choices carefully and...

How A Celebrant Helps A Family Heal

The loss of a loved one is always a difficult time for family members and friends. People experience grief, anger, helplessness, and hopelessness because a vital part of their support system is now...

How To Help Someone Who Has Lost Their Pet

It is easy to underestimate just how painful and devastating the loss of a pet can be. These companions become part of a person's family. They offer unconditional love and support that can help peo...

Financial Benefits of Pre-Planning Your Funeral

Funeral pre-planning isn’t a novel idea anymore and an increasing number of people are now opting for it. The concept of death doesn’t scare every person and many feel that just like they plan so m...

What to Expect After the Funeral

The period between a person's death and their funeral can be fairly busy. Family members have to contact relatives, hire a funeral home, make arrangements, and handle the paperwork. All of these ta...

Top Tips On Staying Safe In Public During The Pandemic

Staying safe during this time is all about self-isolation and social distancing. But there are times when you would have to step out.  It could be to buy some essentials or run a small errand....

Grief Amid The Pandemic: How To Show Love And Support Through Social Distancing

The modern lifestyle seems to have come to a standstill during this pandemic, but life continues as it always has. Births and deaths are happening every day, forcing people to deal with big life ch...

Documentation to Have In Place Before Death

As a person gets older, it's necessary to ensure all the documentation is in order. We all have several different types of documentation to keep, including legal, financial, medical, contacts, real...