Different Ways To Personalize An Obituary

By: Ian Elliott
Thursday, February 25, 2016

When it comes to writing an obituary, most people are too distracted by other responsibilities to focus on writing something that is both good and respectful to the deceased and their family.  Most people write a simple statement of the facts of the birth, death and funeral arrangements, rather than an in­depth overview of the deceased’s life and accomplishments.

Picking a picture

When you are posting the obituary, you may wish to include a picture of the deceased.  If you have chosen this option, pick a favourite picture of the deceased at their best.  For example, if they were a fan of a particular team, try to find an appropriate picture to reflect that.  Once you’ve selected your picture, be sure to include a reference to it in the text of the obituary.

Writing the obituary

When it comes time to put pen to paper, besides including “born, died, & survived by” format.  Try to include something that the deceased loved, like a particular hobby or skill they had.   To offer an example, when writing the obituary say something like “Bill’s yard and garden were meticulously maintained. Whenever you visited with Bill you were sure to find him in the yard.”  “He was always there for his family, helping where he could, taking his grandchildren to the play ground on weekends.” By driving home his incredible love of his family, gardening and caring for his lawn, the writer reminds the mourners of the good times with Bill, and possibly alleviates the grief, even if it’s only for a moment.

Collect stories

People are strange creatures.  We rarely, if ever, show our complete selves to those around us.  Everyone sees us differently.  By asking around the family and close friends, you can find different stories about the deceased, stories you may not have known.  Perhaps they helped their grandchild learn how to ride a bike, or made amazing waffles every Saturday morning.  As the one writing the obituary, you should ask around for good stories or facts about the deceased that you could use or share with other mourners.  By sharing happy memories, you can help relieve the grief, and offer comfort.  When you’re gathering information from other family members and friends, be sure you ask their permission before using any of the information they provide in the obituary.  Not everyone wants their personal stories shared on a public stage, especially when they are mourning.

Don’t put something into the obituary that would upset the decedent if they were living or surviving family members.

 

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

Documentation to Have In Place Before Death

As a person gets older, it's necessary to ensure all the documentation is in order. We all have several different types of documentation to keep, including legal, financial, medical, contacts, real...

Personalizing a Funeral with Unique Song Selections

Music is often the balm to our soul, especially during trying times. People often take solace from songs, finding comfort in the rhythm and lyrics. Most develop a personal connection with special s...

Celebrant Or Clergy Member, Which Should I Choose, And Why?

A funeral is an organized event, specifically designed to help family members and friends say farewell to their deceased loved one. A clergy member or celebrant is a vital aspect of this event as t...

3 Funeral Etiquette Tips You Need to Know

Funerals are often emotionally charged and even the slightest mistake can cause deep offense to grieving individuals. At Arbutus Funeral Service, we believe that funerals should have a comfortable,...

Helping Children Understand Loss

Children have a unique way to view this world and its complexities. Just because they view things differently doesn’t mean adults should underestimate their level of awareness or understanding. At ...

Coping with the Death of a Sibling

Dealing with the loss of a sibling is never easy. There are several mixed emotions, unresolved issues, and a sense of responsibility towards other members of the family. At Arbutus Funeral Services...

Memory Making Family Christmas Traditions To Start The Year

The death of a family member is never easy, and this is especially true during the holiday season. You begin to miss your loved one even more during this festive time because it brings back memorie...

Tips For Making It Through The Holiday Season When You Feel Depressed

Every person experiences grief and sorrow in different ways. They also heal at a different pace, and there are no specific timelines of patterns that people follow when they are recovering from gri...

What To Expect During The Funeral

It isn't uncommon for many people to find themselves at sea when it comes to interacting with other attendees at a funeral service. Knowing what to do and what to expect during a funeral is an exce...

Who Can Serve As Pallbearers?

Pallbearers at a funeral service are those who escort or carry the casket. In most instances, there could be 6 to 8 pallbearers. This number depends on how many handles the casket has. Sometimes, t...