Tips For Letting Go Of A Loved One While Keeping Them Close to Your Heart

By: Ian Elliott
Thursday, February 11, 2016

Letting go is always difficult.  Whether it’s a spouse, child, family member or friend, dealing with a death is never easy.  Many people struggle with the process, isolating themselves from others as they struggle with the strong emotions that come to the forefront during the mourning process.  If you feel overwhelmed, you may find some advice and guidance on how to heal in this list.

Ask for help

Far too often, people feel like they have to be strong, and that seeking help is a sign of weakness.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Asking someone to help you shoulder your burden means you respect their strength and need to borrow some of it.  Even something as simple as talking over tea or coffee, with your funeral director, can be an incredible help for someone struggling through a difficult time. You are in a safe non-judgemental environment to say how you feel, what you are thinking.  Besides friends and family, you should also consider turning to a support group or grief therapist to find people who have gone through the same thing or are currently going through the same thing you are.  An experienced therapist can help you deal with overwhelming emotions and any obstacles that have built up, that keep you from moving on.

Self­care

While it is very important to seek help if and when you need it, you also need to do work on your own.  Ultimately, the only person who can help you is you, whether it be asking someone for help or helping yourself.  Look after your physical health, or even join a gym.  Low energy and sleeping problems are symptoms of depression, and by getting enough sleep, eating properly, and exercising regularly, you can fight the symptoms.  Don’t use alcohol or drugs to numb your emotions or to forget your loss.  Pairing substance abuse with depression and grief is a recipe for disaster.  It can be tempting to bury your grief in any of the countless distractions the modern world offers, but you can’t avoid it forever.  Rather than facing your feelings when you have no choice, tackle your pain head on.  Some things that you could try are making a scrapbook to celebrate the life of your loved one, writing them a letter to tell them how you feel or how things have been since their death, or simply keeping a journal to safely vent your emotions.   By facing your grief head on, you can learn to remember and think of your deceased loved one in a healthy, positive way, rather than only focusing on their death.

Focusing on what you loved about them is the best way to preserve their memory.

 

 

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